i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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