Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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