Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
