He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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