I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
