Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
