You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
