why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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