you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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