Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
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she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
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The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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