Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
