dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
