I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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