Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
