Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
