Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
