that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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