3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
