I think I am morally bankrupt
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
