Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
