I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
