??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
In America we eat man semen.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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