Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize