my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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