talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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