So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
