NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
