I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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