Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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