We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
