Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize