from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
