The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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