he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
