He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
