i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she smelled like a LAN party
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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