she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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