Having a random hookup so left but love u
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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