just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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