I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
