that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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