She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize