No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
