He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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