Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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