i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Barsexuality is the new black.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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