Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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