plz talk dirty to me
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
