I think i peed on brittanys purse
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
