whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
