who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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