I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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