I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
