Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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