Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
