He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
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