Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
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For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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