Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
