Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
