Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
