That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
