her vagine was all disorganized.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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