They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
