my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
